Why Do We Forget Our Dreams?

How many times have you woken up recalling a crazy dream and then instantly forgetting it? If that sounds familiar, you are not alone! Dreams are an incredibly mysterious part of our lives, and only remembering its fragments can be really frustrating. Most of us dream every night. And despite spending around one-third of our lives asleep, many of us don’t remember our dreams. This leaves us wondering: why do we forget dreams so easily?

What piques my curiosity more is that I always remember certain vivid dreams but forget other dreams entirely! While forgetting dreams may not be a big deal for many, but for other curious souls who are here today, we may have some possible explanations.

Is It Normal to Forget Your Dreams? 

Yes, it’s perfectly normal to forget our dreams when we wake up. Most dreams occur during the Rapid Eye Movement (REM). This is the stage when your brain is the most active, your eyes move rapidly, and your muscles are temporarily paralyzed. 

Forgetting dreams is so common that it’s often seen as a normal part of the sleep-wake cycle. Statistics show that we have around 3-6 dreams that last for 5-20 minutes on average every night. Interestingly, 95% of our dreams are forgotten shortly after waking up. Although some people recall certain dreams with vivid detail, most of us lose track of them within minutes or even seconds. 

But why do we forget dreams? And is there any way to retain more of what we experience in our sleep? Let’s dive into the science and psychology of why it’s so hard to remember dreams.

Why Don’t I Remember My Dreams?

Some dreams are really intriguing, creative and simply worth remembering. It’s after those dreams that I really find asking myself, “why do I forget my dreams?” But, let’s face it—we all wake up not remembering dreams unless they are extremely memorable. There are several theories as to why we don’t remember dreams, and the cause of not remembering dreams varies from person to person. 

Here are some prominent explanations backed by research that give you an insight into why we forget our dreams when we wake up.

1. Lack of REM sleep

As mentioned earlier, most of our dreaming happens in the REM stage. According to research, if you dream and forget them frequently, there is a possibility that you are not getting enough REM sleep.

We go into the REM stage of sleep every 90 minutes and the duration of this stage increases as the night progresses. Your REM stage increases from a few minutes in the beginning of the night to 20 minutes by the end of it. If you are sleeping less, you are experiencing less and smaller REM stages. 

So, in simple words, the more you sleep the more you remember your dreams. 

2. Sleep disorders

Studies have found that having sleep disorders can make it difficult to recall dreams in the morning. Some of these conditions are:

• Sleep apnea
• Insomnia
• Narcolepsy
• Restless legs syndrome

These sleep disorders prevent you from entering the deep stages and contribute to fragmented REM sleep. Due to this, your natural sleep and dream cycle gets interrupted making it difficult to remember your dreams. 

Tip: If you are looking for a way to sleep better, try sleeping without your underwear. 

3. Brain chemistry 

When we dream, the brain’s neurochemistry changes. Levels of neurotransmitters like norepinephrine, which is critical for memory retention, are significantly lower during REM sleep. Research suggests that these changing levels of chemicals during sleep may be an important factor in not remembering dreams.

A study explored whether certain brain structures affect how frequently people remember their dreams. Researchers analyzed how the density of white and gray matter in brain areas linked to dreaming, such as the amygdala, hippocampus, medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC), and temporoparietal junction (TPJ), correlated with dream recall frequency. This is what they found: 

• Ninety-two participants were divided into two groups based on their frequency of dream recall: high and low recall groups.
• No significant differences were found in the density of gray matter in the amygdala or hippocampus between the high and low recall groups.
• Participants with high dream recall had a higher density of white matter in the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) compared to those with low dream recall.

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3. Lack of Intentional Recall

So, if you are wondering “why do I forget my dreams” it may turn out that the brain is actively doing it for you. Research suggests that we do not consciously make an effort to remember dreams when we wake up. This is our brain’s way to filter out unnecessary information. 

During the dream state, our minds are highly active, but these dreams slip away from memory as we transition from sleep to waking up. When we wake up, our attention shifts and we forget to pay immediate attention to our dreams. Our brain focuses more on starting the day ahead. 

Due to this, dreams are often not tied to our waking life and our brains don’t prioritize storing them in long-term memory. Our brain only allows significant emotions to be stored in the long-term memory. 

4. Psychological repression

From a psychological perspective, our minds may be “protecting” us by making it harder to remember disturbing or complex dreams. 

According to sleep expert Wendy Troxel, PhD, “what happens during our dreams may help us work through challenging things that happen during the daytime and that we may not be capable of processing during our waking lives.”

Freud’s theory or repression also suggest that some dreams might reveal uncomfortable truths, which we unconsciously choose to forget. People who are more comfortable with introspection or tend to reflect deeply are more likely to recall dreams.

5. Spiritual reasons 

Besides these scientific reasons, many believe that there can be underlying spiritual reasons for forgetting dreams. From a spiritual perspective, forgetting dreams is often attributed to deeper connections with the universe and the subtle ways it communicates with us. 

Dreams are sometimes viewed as carriers of messages or signs meant to guide or warn us. However, not all of these messages are intended for conscious recall. According to some religious beliefs and superstitions, the inability to remember dreams may signify that the dream’s purpose was fulfilled at a subconscious level, where it impacted the soul rather than the mind.

In biblical traditions, dreams are often seen as divine communications. Forgetting a dream, in this context, may be interpreted as God’s way of concealing certain truths or revelations that are not yet meant to be understood. 

Why Do I Remember My Nightmares, But Forget My Dreams? 

If you are one of those who always remembers nightmares, it’s natural to question why we forget our dreams but remember some, especially those that are negative. You see, nightmares tend to be more memorable than ordinary dreams, likely because they evoke strong emotions. So, what does it mean when you only remember bad dreams?

When we experience strong emotions—fear, anxiety, or distress—during a nightmare, our brain’s emotional center, the amygdala, becomes highly active. This heightened activity makes certain dreams harder to forget. 

Additionally, nightmares frequently cause sudden awakenings, which can increase awareness and memory recall. When we wake up suddenly, particularly in the REM stage of sleep when most dreaming occurs, our conscious mind may retain more fragments of the dream. 

Some people even experience lucid moments during nightmares, where they are aware that they are dreaming and attempt to control or escape the scenario. These heightened incidents can make it easier to remember details.

According to studies, we also tend to remember dreams more that have strong emotional content—whether due to stress, fear, or trauma. These types of dreams can feel closer to real-life incidents and thus become more integrated into our waking consciousness. Everyday mundane dreams, on the other hand, slip away as our brain prioritizes more relevant waking memories. 

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How Can I Stop Forgetting My Dreams 

Why is it hard to remember dreams and how can I stop from forgetting them? It can be frustrating to not remember dreams, especially those that are intriguing. But don’t worry! If you wish to remember forgotten dreams, there are a few steps you can take to increase recall. 

Lauri Loewenberg, author of Dream on It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life says, “The most important thing is giving dreams time and attention.” If you recall your dreams in the first 90 seconds after waking up, you may be able to salvage your vivid memories before they fade away. She recommends that it’s best to keep your body in the exact same position you were in when you woke up. This boosts the memory recall. 

If you find yourself asking “why do we forget dreams so quickly”, there are a few tricks and tips that can help you remember your dreams. Here are some effective techniques that are often recommended by sleep experts and psychologists:

1. Keep a Dream Journal: Place a notebook by your bed and write down any details you remember immediately after waking up. Writing down even fragments can improve dream recall over time. 
2. Set an Intention to Remember: Before going to bed, tell yourself, “I want to remember my dreams.” This intention-setting can increase the likelihood of retaining dreams.
3. Minimize Distractions Upon Waking: Avoid checking your phone or rushing out of bed. Give yourself a few moments to recall any dream fragments before fully waking up.
4. Practice Visualization: As you remember fragments, visualize them as clearly as possible. This can strengthen memory pathways related to dream recall.
5. Establish a Regular Sleep Routine: Sleep disorders, erratic sleep schedules, and interrupted sleep can all interfere with REM cycles. A regular sleep schedule promotes consistent REM cycles, helping with dream retention.

Dreams: Our Brain’s Mysteries 

The reasons why we forget dreams are complex, involving a blend of brain chemistry, sleep cycles, psychological factors, and even spiritual interpretations. While some dreams fade quickly due to the nature of brain activity and memory during REM sleep, others linger—especially if they carry strong emotional impact or symbolic meaning.

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