Why Do We Seek Validation on Social Media and How to Stop?

In today’s digital age, social media has become a ubiquitous part of our daily lives. With a simple scroll, like, or comment, we’re constantly connected to a virtual world that promises instant gratification. This hyper-connectedness has led to a pervasive quest for validation on social media

But why do we seek this approval, and more importantly, how can we break free from its grip?

Understanding the Need for Social Validation

The psychology behind our craving for social media likes is rooted in basic human desires. We are inherently social beings, programmed to seek approval and affirmation from our peers. In the realms of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, this translates to an incessant need for likes, shares, and positive comments. Each notification acts like a dopamine hit, reinforcing the behaviour and driving us to post more.

But it’s not just about dopamine. Social media platforms have masterfully created environments where social comparison thrives. We constantly measure our lives against the highlight reels of others, leading to an endless cycle of comparison and validation-seeking. This drive is further amplified by the phenomenon of instant gratification. The immediate feedback received from a post offers a quick, albeit temporary, boost to our self-esteem.

The Impact on Mental Health

This constant need for validation can take a toll on our mental health. Studies show a correlation between heavy social media use and issues like anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The problem intensifies when our self-worth becomes tightly intertwined with our online persona, making every like or lack thereof a measure of personal value.

Strategies to Reduce Dependency

Breaking the cycle of validation-seeking on social media is crucial for our mental well-being. Here are some strategies:

  1. Set Boundaries: Limit your daily social media use. Designate ‘no-phone’ times, especially during meals and before bed.
  2. Seek Real-life Interactions: Prioritize face-to-face connections over online ones. Real-world interactions are more fulfilling and less likely to be driven by the need for validation.
  3. Cultivate Internal Validation: Work on finding self-approval from within. Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and confidence without the need for external validation.
  4. Mindful Posting: Before you post, ask yourself why. Are you seeking approval or sharing something meaningful? Being mindful about why and what you post can reduce the tendency to seek validation.
  5. Diversify Your Online Activity: Engage in online communities and activities that are not solely based on likes and follows. This can include forums, educational websites, or platforms that focus on skill-building.
  6. Digital Detox: Periodically unplug from social media. Take breaks to disconnect and enjoy offline activities.


While social media is an integral part of modern life, it’s crucial to maintain a healthy relationship with it. By understanding the psychological underpinnings of our need for online validation and actively working to reduce this dependency, we can enjoy a more balanced and mentally healthy digital life. 

Remember, your value is not defined by likes or follows, but by the richness of your real-life experiences and the strength of your offline relationships.